this is so so so terrible!! i was tempted to have union with my bed for an hour longer and so i was lazy to get up. ended up missed the gym session and swimming with elda! sorry dear!! i cancelled the appoointment with you. =( but looking at extra tyre i have now, kinda regretted...should have gone for the "slimming session".urghh! LOL... kkx dear, wil make it up for you next week k?? I PROMISE!! =D

-Love is sometimes measured lukewarm because you never know how much you love the person. you might think that your sacrifice is definitely more than the other but again, what makes you think so?? you never know how mouch the other has put into this relationship. during sunny seasons, both are enjoying and wat about times thru the rains?? who would be the one crying?? noone sees the tears under the rain..

-edited-

OMG!!! hahahas went to lakeside to fetch galdys and i met my LONGTIME FAVOURITE TEACHER!!! AUNTY GLORIA!!! i love her so so much!! and she still remembers my name!!! ok, let me count...123456 years from then i left that childcare and i saw her and she recognise me! I AM SO HAPPY!!! she's the prettiest aunty there and she's the one who taught me how to dance! i could still remember those street dance steps, cha-cha, ballroom and ribbon dance!! i promised her to visit her more often =D *can you all see the smile on my face now?! LOL..

alright, den went to gladys place and had a wonderful time with her. i feel like i'm not teaching for the sake of money but rather a pleasure.. think both of us enjoyed the time spent together?? hehheee...careful ohh, we might become les. (choi! she so young! =p) kkx, den back home to have dinner but instead i only ate a piece a chicken and 2 yam cakes..i'm full.. guess i've got enough fats to keep me warm and energetic. hahahahaha...

FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY I GOT THE TIME TO SLEEP!!! was real tired after all the muggings and FINALLY its holidays! and i am yearning to visit macritchie to RUN! anyone interested?? =)) guess i'm getting fatter and fatter each day and being more clumsy le! just went to the coffeshop and bumped into TWO chairs before getting out onto the pavement. its like what the! can't even walk properly arh..hahas..

-Why does your hair stays combed longer than your mind stays renewed.

was just pondering on this sentence and thinking...what is my fresh mannor today that makes me wake up and move on?? am i living today relying on what i have yesterday or thinking of what will happen tml?? or would it be a fresh anoiting and rhema word given for the season??

alright, guess i would be spending my whole day at home and i really miss home. =D ...hmmm, except to give jesse tuition in the evening. and oh...gotta prepare worksheet for the kids this week.. so tough can?! i was up last night till 2am and finally done with the spreadsheet..still got activities to plan and stuffs....TOUGH.. but i'm enjoying whenever i look at the harvest i'll reap, it makes me move on =)) saw 2 dresses from online shopping...shd i get them? gimme comment on my tag k. thanks! haish...now nothing to do so think going to make pancake and solo at home..hahahahaha...byessss

http://dazzlingillusion.imeem.com/music/nTFnF7_A/god_of_my_forever/

God of my youth I remember
Your call on my life took me o’er
Your love has seen me through all my days
I stand here by Your grace
On this altar I’ve written my life
Tells of a story I have with You my Lord
I want the world to know

Chorus
God of my forever
And forever I’m with You
My life is saved with a price
Your sacrifice redeemed my soul
God of my forever
And forever I will sing
My greatest honor will always be
To serve my Lord and King

God of my all I’ve surrendered
My heart finds its rest in Your word
Praises will not be enough to show
How my love for You has grown
Nothing matters when You’re here with me
In the end just to hear You say “Well done”
Bowing before Your throne

Bridge
Forever and ever
Jesus You alone in glory reign
Forever and ever
With You I walk this narrow way

hahas...woke up LATE to meet jeryee so changed the time to 12..but i only reach at 1230!! and she just waited for me patiently! applause applause! =D and one thing, she didn't blame me! LOL... and it was pouring like CRAZY!!! as what good girls do, follow what mum tells you to. so i held the umbrella against the directions of the rain and it ended up looking quite weird cos the umbrella is not held upright. =p and den, the rain went more haywired...its coming from all directions and poor us, sharing one umbrella; wet from top to toe. i was screaming throughout the whole journey and finally reached home...my shirt and skirt is "dripping"wet (even my undergarments! urghh! )...so washed up and get ready to tutor her...

when i saw the past year prelims paper i did...i was like OMG!!! guess i cleanly forgotten bout what stock valuation is; propreitorship; amalgamation and stuffs... i dropped my jaw.. not long, jeryee said suan's coming over later. suddenly i see light ehh.so skipped those that i'm clueless and waited for suan. managed to help her abit lahhx..den i went to iron my clothes while the both of them continued their "tuition". left her place ard 5 and acc suan for "dinner" before going to fetch gladys for another tuition...zzzzz! ended up taking 335 back home. too sian to tutor liao. =p postphoned it to thursday. hahas..you can never escape your responsibility!

whoahh...suddenly dunno why and what made me open the side drawer and den flip thru those papers...and its sermon notes! whoahh!!! get the hint?! kkx, den saw this :
THE PILLARS OF GREATNESS -part 6 (by Reverend Robb Thompson)

The 7 Most Essential People In Your Life -
get a person for each of it

1. Those who motivate you to OBEY.
(kisses of the enemy is deceitful!)
2. Those who are guided by their CHARACTER.
(your character frames your world)
3. Those who are assigned to your FUTURE.

4. Those who DEFEND you in your absence.

5. Those who FEAR God more than they love you.

6. Those who unlock your GRATTITUDE.

7. Those who inspire you to SOW.
(outcome of life is seen in your sowing)

the best funeral i ever attended was my own..i'm so taken away!!

Labels: why does your hair stays combed longer than your mind stays renewed??

Oops~feeling so sorri to someone. really sorri!! i didn't mean to hurt. forget it k? perhaps time will heal the wound? haiis...too fast with words...the result of feeling guilty... stupiddddddddddd...talk so much for wat arh meiling?!

hmmm, stayed home WHOLE DAY!!! hahas..watched tv from noon till night. didn't even touch my work which is like so MESY on my desk now. i simply pack them by stacking them up =p ... genius me? since tml oso need to touch them ma, keep in file oso no use. so i just did that and back to blog. =D now its NEAT! i'm so "wu liao!"

Ohh suddenly remembered what I watched today. Read this peeps! It’s touching till I tear in front of the TV k! OMG! I was glued to channel 5 the whole day and this show "extreme makeover home edition" the one that re-designs homes for people. Anyone knows what I’m talking?? Alright, there's this 8-year-old girl, kassandra, who suffered with a tennis ball huge tumour in her stomach since birth has battled against death and survived after several torturous operations and side effects. Her cancer cells are strictly controlled with tons of medicines and she has overcome all that a child could not have done! She is just so powerful! When her video was flashed for the makeovers to decide if they're helping...I teared! She is so STRONG mentally! Flashing back her childhood of this bald headed gal with a wide spread smile, just like Mr MacDonald’s'. What does it take for her to smile? COURAGE! She smiled though with her permanent disease! She smiled when she's in pain! She smiled with her problems! And now, she's home to rest...She wants the makeovers to groom the hospitals so that the other cancer patients will see no more white walls. She believes that the environment could help to speed up recovery of the others. Despite of her condition, instead of wanting people to help her, she wants others to help her to help others! What do normal kids always wants? It’s all their WANTS. But kassandra wants to help others. Her WANTS are the other patients smile and recovery! Impressed?! Kids are sure a motivation peeps. I LOVE KIDS! She even started making beads to raise funds for the cancer patients. Looking at this young gal’s heart, kassandra just makes the reason to treasure life. She believes that it’s always better to give than to take and so, she decided to help the patients in the hospital. So the construction started with her directing the workers and stuffs. She is such a child that makes her parents proud and honoured. Nobody knows how long more will she be with us but still I’ll keep her in prayers. She’s the girl baby!

as the deer pants for the water
so my soul longs after you
you alone are my heart's desire
and i long to worship you

you alone are my strength, my shield
to you alone may my spirit yield
you alone are my heart's desire
and i long to worship you

i want you more than gold or silver
only you can satisfy
you alone are the real joy giver
and the apple of my eye

you're my friend and you are my brother
even though you are a king
i love you more than any other
so much more than anything

woke up super early by dad's bang when he leave the house! urghh! next is mum coming into my room to check if i went out? urghh! can't get back to sleep and so, did some 'sewing' cos one of my top abit loose and needs to be altered. i did it on my own! yea..peifu ma?? LOL den mum sat at my study table and started her ''chantings''...she so damn funny...
mum: your hair "alot horx"
me: ya lohhx..you want sponsor me go cut hair?
mum: i now cut for you want?
me: choi!
mum: in the past i had a hair cut which cost me $50 over and i looked like a coconut! everything so short and my fringe is flat! had to pay so much for that stupid hair. haiis..
me: ROFLMAO!!!! COCONUT!!! *alright, imagine my mum once had a coconut head?!
mum: really! even my friends ask me...why i go perm my hair till like that? so awful!
me: you never complain mehh? ...
mum: no lahhx, complain also won't get my hair sticked back. scold also no use.
me: den you never ask for discount cos your hair so ugly??
mum: what's on my mind was to go home straight lo. stay there let people laugh only.
*thanks mum, for starting my day with laughter.*

nationals day...day of celebrations...day of independence... later going to watch the parade with janice and co. den think meeting sec school friends to chill out awhile b4 heading home bahhx =D haix..still down with cough and flu but by Jesus stripes, i'm healed! yeayeayea~

wonderful night with my bedd yea~~9 full hours of sleep...shiok!! =p this is my second day of coming back with the Lord and I was guided to this book LAMENTATIONS... ITS GREAT!!
Jerusalem was actually the first land that God had chosen to speak to mankind and in its first chapter, God put in sorrows to Jeruselem! the one who was once great now sits like a widow, once a queen has became slave for the Lord has punished Jerusalem for her many sins.

He would place a trap in your path to turn you back.

The Lord has cast a dark shadow over beautiful Jerusalem and He has shown no mercy even to his temple. All the strength of Israel vanishes beneath his anger. He has broken down his own temple as though it was merely a garden shelter. they have cried until their tears no longer comes..their hearts are broken. This city called "Most Beautiful in All the World" and "Joy of All the Earth", God was determined to destroy its beautiful walls.

Never grieve God with your sins for you will be like grapes that are trampled in a winepress.

The thoughts of suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words. but still, you'll still dare to hope that the faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. so it is good to wait quietly, sit alone in silence for no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. No one is made perfect and instead, all has the ability to sin against him. so why should we, mere humans, complain when we are punished for our sins?

Instead, let us test and examine our ways. Let us turn back to the Lord. Lifting our hearts and hands to God in heaven and say, we have sinned and rebelled, and you have not forgiven.

Lamentations 2:19
Rise during the night and cry out.
Pour out your hearts like water to the Lord.
Lift up your hands to Him in prayer,
pleading for your children,
for in every street they are faint in hunger.

watched the news at nine and there is so many droughts, famines, outbreak of diseases and flooding! The time is coming for his return but what are all his labourers doing? i really teared and made a cry to Him. a prayer that meant really from my heart. look at their sufferings oh Lord. see them lying in the streets - young and old, boys and girls. Let there be a shelter of protection over them Lord. You never forsake anyone who has yet to hear the goodnews..Lord! provide a vessel of aid in their times of need, let them know that you are always there lord. And when all your creation see you face to face, they will praise your name the most High King.

alright, guess i've been acting strong these days and neglecting my health?? this stupid virus just struck me in the middle of the day when i just finish tutoring glady and walked home with a stretched mind. i'm bursting! just feeling so tired and needed rest but i already took a nap during noon time le ehh! lol...and when i did another tuition with jesse, my head is just bursting! the devil is just not happy that i'm picking up my steps again uhh...hahas...i'm back ! you stupid devil.. its all in the minds of man! i thought i was lost but now i'm found! =D

didn't sleep well for the night and its' terrible experience! Oh My Tian!! i wanted to vomit but couldn't...wanted to cough but couldn't...all i did was visiting the toilet for the whole night! urghhhh....wat sia.... sweat for the whole night le..guess fever subsided...but body is aching like dunno wat lahhx! haiyos...going to see doc later...badd badd..

LOL...suddenly rmb the joke on chatroom -- Oh My Tian, Oh My Di, Oh My Mama, Oh My Papa, Oh My Guan Yin Ma!
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

A fire shall always be burning at the altar; it shall never go out. (lev 6:13)

alright, how did i spent all these days?? movies after movies.. had simpson's with weizhi at bugis, den disturbia with pris at ps and alone with winifred, wilfred and pris at tamp. i didn't really enjoy the simpsons as mind was loaded more with miseries than joy. certain scenes got smile abit lahhx, but haix... disturbia is all about killing! and it is really creepy in that murderer's house!! i screamed like crazy in the theatre! ... alone even worse, i closed my eyes for every scene whenever the other twin would appear. pim and ploy...OMG! who is which?! and i scared wini's wit out! =p i treambled, i screamed, i curled and i hid away from the screen! hahas...very waste money horx? but i guess its a good start to relax my mind ba? =D

hmmm, ytd took my weight at wini's house and YES, i slimmed down! its either a kg or two cos i weighed with diff machines and both with diff results?? ... tired tired tired...slept the night away for 10 hours and woke up eat and sleep again for 2hours..how great arhh piggy meiling.. now watch tv le lohhx... nth to do. no mood to touch my work. still gotta prepare lessons for jesse and ministry..TIRED! hahas...go relax first. no blogging for 2weeks till my exams end. bbies...

was at tampiness mac..somewhere near janice house for the whole morning!! didn't charge my phone for the night so whole day without phone..still not bad la. i manage to pass time with the mp3 and waited for pris, janice and sally to finish school. i waited for around 6hours!!! OMG...and my butt definitely ache till numb. den met pris's san yi for "lunch dinner" at ding tai feng..and the bill is jaw breaking! we only ordered 10 xiao long bao, 10 red bean bao and 2 plates of fried rice..it costs us $47.65! pris is stil not full so went to buy duck rice..and we went to the stage where her aunts perform...AND i also played on stage! it was my first time putting on the makeups and its... OMG!! and to remove makeups, i applied so many oils!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEE... but afterall, ITS FUN... living a life with no regrets! mwahaha...

-while waiting during the 6 hours, i wrote a 2 pages long essay to myself-

#if only we could learn to trust

I didn't know that you were treating her so well...I’m confused by your words. Sometimes having magnanimity is just not enough to forgive and forget. I thought you would stop having her in your mind but still, there are only my thoughts..not yours. So all you need was her to be with you. I thought you could fill this emptiness in me once again but I’m wrong. Stop giving me disappointment because it will never be displaced off with my Hopes.
Time has a habit of slipping away. I really don’t know, and I really don’t! Months have just passed like that and it will never return to me. I feel like I’ve been crying under the rain so that no one knows I’m crying. Where can I house my disappointments? When will I stop needing you? It’s a year and 4 months rs now and I’m now still left pondering on the memories. What about you?
To that someone:
Before you even know what’s wrong, you started blaming me. I can honestly tell you that I have no harm in saying all tat I’ve said and it’s without regret. Your interest was in my mind whenever I speak because I know that you are stressed up with so many other things. Why do you think that I’m a flirt?! Why do you detest me so much when I did nothing? Ask those around you that you trust..I’m sure they’ll tell you the situation instead of siding me. Can you please stop hurting me with your thinking’s. I feel really BAD!! I want to love you as a sister but I guess I’ve invited the dark clouds which cause my tears to keep flowing. Ask yourself, do I have any benefits or motives to blame or ‘frame’ your ****? It was true that I’m t******* and I didn’t intend to tell you because I knew that you wouldn’t believe. It will spoil your image of him! I too thought that it was unintentionally but looking at a long run cause, now is the time to speak out before it’s too late to even cry over it. It would only be me who is hurt most as I would be the one carrying these unpleasant memories for life. Even aunty **** also agreed that it was right for me to voice it out. So do you think I want to spoil your f******? You cannot deny that mans are lustful in nature. I have to speak out myself! I am speechless lahhx. You would rather choose the other than sparing a thought for me. Please, I hope you’d understand. I surrendered to my tears le. Enough... LORD! Hide me now under your wings! Help me calm the ranging seas...that came crashing over me.
To myself:
Yes, she may deny that she didn’t do anything. I might be too self-conscious and so it might be a misunderstanding. BUT! It occurs so much so that even people are pointing fingers at you, saying that you are...how could I be wrong then? Yes, she’s a helper and she wouldn’t gossip or bear grudges or have any unclean thoughts but even those around you are saying you are...I don’t know how much more you want to defend yourself. I am really confused with 3 different stories. And even Cheryl doesn’t even know what’s happening. And fine, though I’ve forgiven, I still can’t bring myself to trust you and I still got to apologise for not liking you! OH MAN... rubbishes!
To ********:
Yes, it’s not your fault to be cautious about your cluster members’ life but you are too overboard le! Don’t you think so? Guard your house before you start worrying about how others are doing. Open your eyes wider! I am trying so hard to leave this thing aside and am not opening doors for anyone! I’m thrown back into it again by you i guess. Thanks arhh! Haix...Know your people before knowing me! I really don’t like you to care because I feel uneasy! Stop using a different eye to look at us! We are humans! Unless you tell me that you’re an alien. Don’t think that your life is really so transparent...if someone one day really spills the beans, you’ll be sorry. There’s nothing wrong for us to be close friends...aren’t you and the rest doing the same?! And what’s wrong for me to ask bingzhong for help with my bag when it is so damn heavy and you treated me as a flirt?! OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE, can I also say that you are flirting with K*** or rather the other 143 guys?! Stop all your defending lahhx...Hypocrite!! Is your ministry more important than your integrity?! You don’t even dare to admit?!

>>meiling<<

slimmed down! =D but still my face looks round -.-"

in both of you, i'm such a xiao nu ren...

but this time round, i'm alone..STRONG!
i always thought that loving people is easier than detesting ppl but now,
haix...do unto others just as you would like them to do unto you. ^o^

JAMES 5:20...he who turns a sinner from the error of his way
will save a soul from death and cover a great multitude of sin.

victoria, cho meiling
ngee ann polytechnic [ACC]
insane
loves children!
together with Christ since 2002
loving God wholeheartedly
loving people fervently
BATTLE LEARNT and NEVER REPEAT
when you RECEIVE, GIVE.
when you LEARN, TEACH



I want a boy who will hold my hand in line at the mall & make all the other girls jealous.
I want somone who would grab me by my waist at random times.
Someone who is more goofy than romantic.
A boy who would throw stuffed animals at me when i'm acting dumb.
i'm not the one you would want to mess around with - you might end up crying.
and not a "flowers girl" if you know...
He would silence me with his lips on mine when i'm throwing tantrums.
A guy who would make fun of me just to hear my laugh.
He'd play with my hair all the time & suprise me with little things.
Somone who i could share my lollipops with & lay on a blanket with to count the stars.
more of a mummy boy than bad boy! would like him to be close to his mum then those who thinks are too-cool-for-school.
i got to 'get' him and he got to 'get' me.
But mostly, someonewho will be my best friend & would never break my heart.
He'd just always make me SMILE.
A boy, like no other & he's special.

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