MIXED UP

really dunno how am i feeling now.
sometimes would wonder why must i make myself flare up when i can choose to remain silent. but hey dear, i've bottled things up for far too long. i can't take it anymore. perhaps this shall mark an end for the both of us. let's silence this this way ba?? surely when i start typing..my heart seems to tear bit by bit. feeling really down and all but who cares? tears just flow and there's noone beside. its always a should or should not thing that i thought. having to forgive when you lie.ignoring all the unhappiness with you.to call to let you know i'm there for you.

sometimes reality seems way too high to just fall but the thought came to my mind. i can take the steps and walk down slowly. being very cautious and thinking through whether i'm certain to leave things behind the door. yes. i walked all the way down. my heart really broke and its now broken. never look back. i'll leave you alone to think what you've ought to do. i said you OUGHT TO. because when it comes to sin. its always the "I" in the middle. think bout those people around that's affected and you'll noe why is it a ought and not a choice to consider.

sometimes i thought you're the angel sent in disguise for me as you really can tolerate all my nonsense, my beatings, my whining, my demanding request. now, someone has covered the me in you. i'm not a glutton to punishment. so i can now make up my mind to choose the right thing. i've seen enough, heard enough, felt enough. i dun want to be punished with this torturous feeling i'm feeling now. the pain grew and grew. its unbearable to my heart.

my tummy is feeling damn off now. been running through and fro from toilet for the past few days and now...thought i recovered but i'm wrong. i just feel like drinking now. why do i like to drink down those sorrows and have hangover the next day. reality doesn't go off. when i walk away and turn, will i see your face or your back?

you are my hiding place: you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. psalm 32:7

JAMES 5:20...he who turns a sinner from the error of his way
will save a soul from death and cover a great multitude of sin.

victoria, cho meiling
ngee ann polytechnic [ACC]
insane
loves children!
together with Christ since 2002
loving God wholeheartedly
loving people fervently
BATTLE LEARNT and NEVER REPEAT
when you RECEIVE, GIVE.
when you LEARN, TEACH



I want a boy who will hold my hand in line at the mall & make all the other girls jealous.
I want somone who would grab me by my waist at random times.
Someone who is more goofy than romantic.
A boy who would throw stuffed animals at me when i'm acting dumb.
i'm not the one you would want to mess around with - you might end up crying.
and not a "flowers girl" if you know...
He would silence me with his lips on mine when i'm throwing tantrums.
A guy who would make fun of me just to hear my laugh.
He'd play with my hair all the time & suprise me with little things.
Somone who i could share my lollipops with & lay on a blanket with to count the stars.
more of a mummy boy than bad boy! would like him to be close to his mum then those who thinks are too-cool-for-school.
i got to 'get' him and he got to 'get' me.
But mostly, someonewho will be my best friend & would never break my heart.
He'd just always make me SMILE.
A boy, like no other & he's special.

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